If it’s Sunday, it means “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” hits the airwaves at WIRY — Noon till 6:00 (Eastern) — at 1340 AM, 100.7 FM and WIRY.com. Sunday’s show will feature some of the “Lost Hits” from the 3rd week of July — 1967-1976. It will include lots of songs that you don’t hear a lot on the radio — and I’m sure you’ll enjoy hearing these great songs again. Join me if you can. . .
And today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ a “sad but true” reflection of today’s times. Enjoy. . .
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I TOLD MY SON, “YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE.”
HE SAID, “NO.”
I TOLD HIM, “SHE IS BILL GATES DAUGHTER.”
HE SAID, “YES.”
I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, “I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON,
“BILL GATES SAID, “NO”
I TOLD BILL GATES, “MY SON IS THE C.E.O. OF THE WORLD BANK.”
BILL GATES SAID, “OK”
I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE C.E.O.
HE SAID, “NO”
I TOLD HIM, “MY SON IS BILL GATES SON-IN-LAW”
HE SAID, “OK”
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS
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40 years of marriage..
A married couple in their early 60’s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for
all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment:
‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.!
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female …..
SEND THIS
TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH .
AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!
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Toddler (n.)
Emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a lovable creature.
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And finally — just when you thought you couldn’t take any more news about medical care — along comes what very well might be the answer we’ve all been waiting for — the “Redneck Medical Dictionary”. . .
Redneck Medical Dictionary
Rednecks have the lowest stress rate
because they do not take medical terminology seriously.
You are going to die anyway, so live life like a Redneck!
Medical Term – Redneck Definition –
Artery – The study of painting
Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
Barium – What doctors do when patients die
Benign – What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan – Searching for Kitty
Cauterize – Made eye contact with her
Colic – A sheep dog
Coma – A punctuation mark
Dilate – To live long
Enema – Not a friend
Fester – Quicker than someone else
Fibula – A small lie
Impotent – Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane
Morbid – A higher offer
Nitrates – Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node – I knew it
Outpatient – A person who has fainted
Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative – A letter carrier
Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery
Rectum – Nearly killed him