One Hit Wonders??? You know — those songs that captured your fancy many years ago — and even today conjure up fond memories — will be the focus of Sunday’s “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” meets WIRY from noon till 6:00 PM Eastern — at 1340 AM, 100.7 FM and www.wiry.com on the World Wide Web. I “guarantee” you’re going to like what you hear — so check it out if you can.
In the meantime — today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some rather interesting tidbits — the accuracy, of which, I cannot vouch . . .
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Today’s Chuckles. . .
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SHORT, BUT BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied, ‘Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married’.
‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed excitedly.
‘Good,’ she replied, ‘Then get your own blanket!’
After a moment of silence, he rolled over and farted.
The End.
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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,
has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job
in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would
not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing
$10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer,
“Ask him where the money is!”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido,
“Where’s the money?”
Guido signs back,
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The lawyer tells the Godfather,
“He says he doesn’t know
what you’re talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol,
puts it to Guido’s head and says,
“Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”
The lawyer signs to Guido,
“He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs,
“OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer,
“What did he say?”
The lawyer replies,
“He says f— you. You don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
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And finally — some interesting advice that just “might” make a difference — check it out. . .
1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes.
2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years.
3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There’s a 9% chance that you’ll meet one of them in your lifetime.
4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger.
5. A person’s height is determined by their father, and their weight is
determined by their mother.
6. If a part of your body “falls asleep”, You can almost always “wake it up” by shaking your head.
7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist
noticing – food, attractive people and danger.
8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.
9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odor.
10. According to Albert Einstein, if honey bees were to disappear from earth, humans would be dead within 4 years.
11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one every day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.
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12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11
days without sleeping.
13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.
14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.
15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information as Wikipedia.
16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!
17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 mins to boil 1.5 liters of water!!
18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest cell !!
19. Stomach acid (conc. HCl) is strong enough to dissolve razor blades!!
20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
21. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
22. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask guidance for your
purpose, today.
23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
24. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
26. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
28. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything.
30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
31. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
32. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
33. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
36. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’.
37. What other people think of you is none of your business.
38. Time heals everything.
39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
40. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and be thankful for what you accomplished, today .
43. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.