Lake – river-H2O Monotony Breaker

This week’s edition “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” at WIRY is a tribute to the beauties of “Water”  —  in all its forms (and of course the songs that represent this “beauty.”)  For, despite WC Fields’ famous quote “Water  —  never touch the stuff.  Fish “make love” in it you know “(or something close to that???)  —  there are lots of great songs in which water plays an important part.  Join me if you can Sunday noon till 6:00 eastern time at www.wiry.com (or 100.7 locally).

In the meantime  —  on with today’s Monotony Breaker which addresses one of the more “frosty” versions of water  —  Enjoy. . .

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The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.

Statistics just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveals that:

North American, Australian, New Zealanders and British men between 60 and 80 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more!), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to a lot of us at the golf club, as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.

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Sports Team Names and What is Correct

I  think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune…. Enjoy

No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny.

Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.  The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive.  Gone. It’s offensive to us white folk.  The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates! 

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children. 

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Another wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers” (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???)

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them.

As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.

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And Finally  . . .

Little Bit Of Philosophy

 

‘There are only two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is a miracle.’ (Albert Einstein)

As we grow older and wiser we realize a $300 or $30 watch – – – they both tell the same time.

Whether we carry a $300 or $30 wallet/handbag – – – the amount of money inside is the same.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $30 or $3 wine – – – the hangover is the same.

Whether the house we live in is 300, 3,000 or 30,000 sq.  ft.  – – – the loneliness is the same.

And we realize our true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down – – – we go down with it.  Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane reaches its destination – – everyone arrives at the same time.

Therefore .  .  .  we should realize that when we have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, with whom we can chat, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth — that is true happiness!

Six Undeniable Facts of Life:

  1. Don’t educate your children to be rich.  Educate them to be happy, so when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price.

  1. Wise words: “Eat your food as your medicines.  Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food.”

  1. The one who loves you will never leave you because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

  1. There is a big difference between a human being and being human.  Only a few folks really understand that.

  1. You are loved when you are born.  You will be loved when you die.  In between, you have to manage!

  1. If you just want to walk fast, walk alone; but, if you want to walk far, walk together!

Six Best Doctors in the World

  1. Sunlight

  2. Rest

  3. Exercise

  4. Diet

  5. Self Confidence

  6. Friends And, finally: The nicest place to be is in someone’s thoughts, the safest place to be is in someone’s prayers, and the very best place to be is……….in the hands of God.

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