Yes it’s true — beginning this Sunday at Noon (Eastern) thru 6:00 PM — on WIRY, Plattsburgh, NY — I’ll be “spinning records” in the style of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” (though I may or may not call it that) and sharing w/ you guys and WIRY listeners what has become somewhat of a passion for me — i.e. “live radio.” Yes WIRY’s need for a Sunday afternoon “jock” and my “interest” in radio have blended to make Sunday afternoons “a lot of fun.” Check it out — at www.wiry.com (or locally at 1340 am or 100.7 fm).
In the meantime, today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some thoughts on Senior Housing — and how to make the most of it — and continues w/ a few other tidbits of “entertainment.” Enjoy. . .
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The story begins with a cop who pulls over a lady after she catches her driving too slowly…
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-Two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”
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Golf …..AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
Golf is harder than baseball. In Golf, you have to play your foul balls.
If you find you do not mind playing Golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip …your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
A ‘gimme‘ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers …neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about Golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
Golf‘s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the ‘gimme putt’, you might wish to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage. If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil with an eraser.
David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex…
#10… A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09… You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08… It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07… Foursomes are encouraged.
#06… You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05… Three times a day is possible.
#04… Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03… If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#02… You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And the NUMBER ONEreason why golf is better than sex…..
#01… When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
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And finally — something about this “quiz” seems that there may be some substance to it — that is is you are completely candid in answering the dozen questions or so. Should that be the case — I’m looking forward to the age of 92 as my departure date. Check it out and see what you think???
Subject: HOW MANY YEARS DO YOU HAVE LEFT?!
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