Two-sided Musical Hits were a rarity — but it happened — and today’s “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-04-04-17-two-sided-hits/ contains some of the best. Check it out.
In the meantime, today’s Mini Monotony Breaker begins w/ some interesting facts — most of which you will not have known — and continues w/ a couple other bits of entertainment. Enjoy. . .
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Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear.
At a travel agency in Shanghai , I asked the Chinese girl behind
the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her
for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.
She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,
“Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight”.
I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”
A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder
and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”
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Golfers — you will LOVE this. . .
GOLF POEM
Before reading the neat poem below, here is a little known fact about golf balls.
According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls
per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752 every day.
Worried about running out? Don’t be. Companies like Titleist are
working hard to ensure that never happens. Titleist makes 1.2 million golf
balls each day.
Now enjoy the poem, below.
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
I loathe it, And Want To Die.
It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.
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AND READ THIS ONE LAST PARAGRAPH!
Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls. A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallonsof alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud. You’re like … a hybrid!
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And Finally — some GREAT stuff from “Life Hacks”. . .
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