“Hole-In-One” Monotony Breaker

As you may or may not have heard, Maura got a “hole-in-one” today  —  something that a relatively small percentage of golfers ever achieve  —  hence the theme for several of the items in today’s MB.

And lots of good comments on last week’s “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” Show  —  in case you didn’t get a chance to listen  —  check it out at https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-03-07-17-mystery-artists/

And a reminder that tomorrow’s regular weekly show will air at 8:00 am Pacific (11:00 am Eastern) and will feature “Story Songs.”  Check it out at www.titanradio.org

In the meantime, today’s Monotony Breaker. . .


First Grade Drawing – PRICELESS!

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment.

The teacher graded it and the child took it home.

She returned to school the next day with the following note:


Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child’s homework illustration. 
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. 
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. 
This drawing is of me selling a shovel.


Mrs. Harrington

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: “Don’t draw conclusions without knowing all the information!”


The Dangers of Golf


While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.


A  very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay?”


“I’m okay thanks,” I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.


She said, “Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”  I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.


“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”


“Oh, come on now ” she insisted.


She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive.


I was weak.. “Well okay,” I finally agreed.


After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now.”


“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”


I replied, “Still under the cart, I guess”…..


‘How sweet, he’s smiling. He must be dreaming about me.’

‘Man, that is really devious of her. Making club covers of her and the kids to guilt trip you every time you golf.’

During the life boat drill, a man has used his wife’s life jacket for his golf clubs.


And this “final” item  —  truly “great”  —  but not the type of “entertainment” we normally associate w/ Monotony Breakers. Kinda nice to see  . . .

On Monday, I played the Disney, Lake Buena 
Vista course. As usual the starters matched me with three 
other players. After a few holes we began to get to know each 
other a bit.One fellow was rather young and had 
his wife riding along in the golf cart with him. I noticed 
that his golf bag had his name on it and after closer 
inspection it also said “wounded war veterans.” When I had my first chance to chat 
with him I asked him about the bag. His response was simply 
that it was a gift. I then asked if he was wounded and he said 
yes. When I asked more about his injury, his response was

“I’d rather not talk about it, sir”.  

Over a few holes I learned that he 
had spent the last 15 months in an army rehabilitation 
hospital in San Antonio , Texas . His wife moved there to be 
with him and he was released from the hospital in 
September. He was a rather quiet fellow; however, 
he did say that he wanted to get good at golf.

We had a nice round and as we became a 
bit more familiar I asked him about the brand new set of Ping 
woods and irons he was playing. Some looked like they had 
never been hit. His response was simple.

He said that this round was the first 
full round he had played with these clubs. Later in the round 
he told me the following.

As part of the discharge process from the rehabilitation 
hospital, Ping comes in and provides three days of 
golf instruction, followed by club fitting.

Upon discharge from the hospital, Ping gives each of the discharged veterans, 
generally about 40 soldiers, a brand new set of custom fitted 
clubs along with the impressive golf bags.  

The fellow I met was named Ben 
Woods and he looked me in the eye and said that being fitted 
for those clubs was one of the best things that ever happened 
to him and he was determined to learn to play golf 
well enough to deserve the gift Ping had given him.

Ben is now out of the service 
medically discharged just a month ago. He is as fine a young 
man as you would ever want to meet.  

 , whose products are made with pride 

here in America ( Arizona ), has the good judgment not to 
advertise this program.
Thank you Ping   —  May more Corporations learn from your fine example. . .




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