Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some humorous “aphorisms” (whatever those are) — and continues w/ some other tidbits to entertain you for the next couple minutes.
And speaking of “entertainment” — check out this week’s edition of my weekly radio show — “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” by clicking on the following link
and enjoy a “trip to the Islands”. I think you might like what you hear. In the meantime — today’s Monotony Breaker. . .
APHORISMS FOR THE YEAR…
|it’s not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.
|We have enough “youth“.
How about a fountain of “smart“?
|A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.|
|When blondes have more fun, do they know it?|
|LEARN FROM YOUR PARENT’S MISTAKES- – USE BIRTH CONTROL|
|Money isn’t everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
|If at first you don’t succeed,
Skydiving is not for you.
|We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
|Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
|Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
Give the rest a bad name.
|Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
To produce reproductive organs.
|Alabama state motto:
At least we’re not Mississippi
|ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
|The latest survey shows that
Three out of four people make
Up 75% of the population
|“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
Identify their corporate sponsors.“
The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.
A little Stress Relief to help your day!
‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.’
(A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’ ‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men….
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’
A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says … ‘HEBREWS’
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM .’ He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..’
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
And finally — one last bit of “entertainment. . .”
Top 10 Songs, Each Month, Past 30+ Years
Click on the link above, then click on the month you choose, then click on the speaker in the middle of the record, and it plays the entire song.
You now have more than 30 years of the Top 10 Songs for each month from 1950 to 1986.
You not only hear the music, you get to see the original label, and if you click on the title underneath the record, you will see a photo of the artist…