MB and Oldies Alert

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some rather remarkable examples of people who really know how to deal w/ the aging process and continues w/ a variety of interesting tidbits to which you’ve become accustomed.  Also  —  This week’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available by clicking on the following link:  https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-03-15-16-ides-irish-collage/    As will be evident  —  it’s a bit of a collage combining the fact that yesterday we celebrated the “Ides of March” and tomorrow we’ll be celebrating Ireland’s Patron Saint  —  no doubt w/ a bit of green beer to spice up the festivities.  As always  —  Enjoy. . . (and tell your friends to check out www.monotonybreaker.com as well. . .)


96 105 123 131 141 151 161 171 181 191 201 213 214 311 1111 49 77 84

“Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat 

And taking the tartar sauce with you!”


Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.  The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry, son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘what ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ 
The farmer said, you can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’ 
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me.. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘what happened with that dead donkey?’ 
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’ 
Chuck now works for the government.


 Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives (only 14 items; not long)


1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.


2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.


4. A dog’s parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.


7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk..


8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”


10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.


11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.


13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:


14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:   
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who’s happy to see you!


The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Nursing Home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”

 “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

 “No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”


And Finally  —  Wedding Night at the Senior’s Lodge  —  Enjoy. . .


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