Totay’s Monotony Breaker begins with a correction to last week’s video regarding the Banana resuscitation —
http://www.snopes.com/banana-resurrection/
But I can assure you that the following items have been “thoroughly researched for entertainment value
— regardless of the factual basis. . .
Oh — and don’t forget to check out “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” — Tuesday morning at 8:00 am Pacific
(11:00 am Eastern). UNESCO has designated November 9th as “World Science Day for Peace and Development” — and I “guarantee” you are going to enjoy our Celebration. Check it out at
www.titaninternetradio.org or
http://tunein.com/radio/Titan-Internet-Radio-s2638/ or the “ifullerton” app on your smart phone. Enjoy. . .
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GOT MY CONCEALED GUN PERMIT YESTERDAY ……
…and went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for home
protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier
said “Strip down, facing me.”
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos
running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical
shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to
how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!
I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to Seniors a little clearer. I still
don’t think I looked that bad.
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People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker
and a frozen carburetor.
Last January on a bitterly cold winter’s day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold
weather.
“What’s the matter? asked the Trooper
“Carburetor’s frozen,” was the terse reply.
“Pee on it. That’ll thaw it out.”
“I can’t,” said the biker.
“OK, watch me closely and I’ll show you how.”
The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.
Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.
A few days later, the local State Troopers’
office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.
It began: “On behalf of my daughter Jill…”
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Some Truisms about life to make one think. . .
Number 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny……and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make
him a sandwich.
Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for
weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it
normal.
Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
…and as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.
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A couple thoughts on “Stress” with which we can each identify. . .
STRESS
You pick up a hitchhiker… A beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful.
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you’re going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.
After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you’re infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You’re extremely stressed but relieved.
On your way back home, you’re thinking about your 5 kids at home.
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And Finally. . .
DRAW A STICK MAN / A Laugh for the day. . . . .You can enjoy this And so can your children……………..
How to keep an older person busy for a few minutes (and enjoy it !!)
This is unique, clever, and several other adjectives.
This is sooooo neat. You have to try it…. This is a keeper!! You actually have to draw a Stickman…and see what will happen..