Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ Maxine’s “take” on a recent sermon that she heard — and continues w/ several similar entertaining bits.
And this reminder — today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” had some broadcast difficulties — but the show, itself has been preserved at mixcloud and is available at
https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-04-05-06-bert-berns-story/
It features a man described as the greatest songwriter of whom you’ve never heard — Bert Berns — and I can assure that you will find it quite interesting. Enjoy. . .
(and don’t forget that you can satisfy your MB habit at ANY time by simply going to)
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“4 Worms In Church“
Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
1. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
2. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
3. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
4. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol … Dead .
The second worm in cigarette smoke …Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup …Dead .
Fourth worm in good clean soil …Alive…
So the Minister asked the congregation, “What did you learn from this demonstration?”
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said
“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”
That pretty much ended the service!
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A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
“Well, sir, if there was any Work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”
The room fell silent.
God Bless the enlisted man.
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ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW….
A Cup of Tea made with cold water.
One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water
After several cups of tea and lot of praise for such yummy tea, my Grandma came home. My Grandpa made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’
Grandma waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Grandpa, and she watched him drink it up.
Then she said, (as only a grandma would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”
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And finally — three proven ways to fail a “drunken” test (and to think at least two of these three people were driving???)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3714530620205