Will the CSUF Titans advance to the World Series. . .

Only time will tell  —  but they’re certainly motivated after evening up the SuperRegional Series w/ Long Beach.  Tune in to ESPN Sunday to cheer them on to victory.

And if you’re not into Collegiate Baseball  —  beginning at Noon Eastern  —  and continuing till 6:00 pm  —  I’ll be “playing DJ” at WIRY once again  —  and this time, featuring the top 40 “Novelty Tunes” of the Rock Era.  I am certain that some of these will be great songs that you’ve not heard in years  —  so check it out at www.wiry.com and enjoy a bit of “rock history.”

In the meantime  on with today’s Monotony Breaker. . .



You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where

1.  You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2.  You’ve experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3.  You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.  You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6.  The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??


 You can retire to California where…

1.  You make over $450,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3.  You know how to eat an artichoke.
4.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

5.  The four seasons are:  Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.


 You can retire to New York City where…

1   You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3.  You think Central Park is “nature.”
4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5.  You’ve worn out a car horn.  (IF you have a car.)
6.  You think eye contact is an act of aggression


 You can retire to Wisconsin  where…

1.  You only have three spices:  salt, pepper and ketchup.
2.  Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3.  You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5.  The four seasons are:  almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6.  The highest level of criticism is “He is different,”  “She is different,” or “It was different!”

7.  A five foot blonde who weighs 180 lbs is considered anorexic.


 You can retire to The Deep South where…

1.  You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2  “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3.  “He needed killin” is a valid defense.
4.  Everyone has two first names:  Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5.  Everything is either:  “in yonder,”  “over yonder”  or “out yonder.

6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say “Bless his heart” at the end!


 You can move to Colorado where…

1.  You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2.  You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3.  A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4.  The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.


 You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where…(this could apply to Wisconsin also) 

1.  You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3.  You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4.  You end sentences with a preposition;  “Where’s my coat at?”


 FINALLY you can retire to Florida where…

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind – even houses and cars.
3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


Burma Shave



For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs,
Here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and ’40’s.
Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads,
Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields.
They were small red signs with white letters.
Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each contain 1 line of a 4 line couplet…..
And the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

Burma Shave


Burma Shave 

Burma Shave


Burma Shave 

Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave


Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave

Burma Shave


Burma Shave 

Burma Shave

Burma Shave



Burma Shave






Do these bring back any old memories ?
If not, you’re merely young!!!
If they do – then you’re old as dirt. LIKE ME!

Have a great day!




When I die, bury me on the golf course, so my husband will visit.

  Author Unknown

I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they’d come up sliced.

Author Unknown

I’ve spent most of my life golfing. The rest I’ve just wasted.

Author Unknown

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Raymond Floyd

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.

Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Jim Bishop

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hank Aaron

 Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.

Paul Harvey

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Al Boliska

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Billy Graham

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

Ben Hogan

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

Don’t play too much golf…Two rounds a day are plenty.

Harry Vardon

Golf is a game in which one endeavours to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.

Woodrow Wilson

A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.

Author Unknown

Gone golfin’ … be back about dark thirty.

Author Unknown

Born to golf. Forced to work.

Author Unknown

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off .

Author Unknown

May thy ball lie in green pastures … and not in still waters.

Author Unknown

If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.

Author Unknown

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

George Deukmejian

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes.


Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, “nothing.”

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him.

He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior
I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s Diary:

A two-foot putt.. Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?

“Oldies w/ the Old Guy” meets WIRY.com

Yes it’s true  —  beginning this Sunday at Noon (Eastern) thru 6:00 PM  —  on WIRY, Plattsburgh, NY  —  I’ll be “spinning records” in the style of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” (though I may or may not call it that) and sharing w/ you guys and WIRY listeners what has become somewhat of a passion for me  —  i.e. “live radio.”  Yes WIRY’s need for a Sunday afternoon “jock” and my “interest” in radio have blended to make Sunday afternoons “a lot of fun.”  Check it out  —  at www.wiry.com (or locally at 1340 am or 100.7 fm).

In the meantime, today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some thoughts on Senior Housing  —  and how to make the most of it  —  and continues w/ a few other tidbits of “entertainment.”  Enjoy. . .


No nursing home for us.  We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble

I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy

hours in the afternoon.

That leaves  $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want,  and/or room service, laundry,

gratuities and special TV movies.  And don’t forget the maid comes every day!

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room,

a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and

all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There’s a city bus stop out front, and

seniors ride free.

The handicap bus will also pick you up

(if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

 For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere.  

Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see  Hawaii  ?  They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken?  Light bulbs need changing?  

Need a mattress replaced?  No problem.. They fix everything,  and apologize for the inconvenience.

The  Inn  has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok.  If not, they’ll call an ambulance . . or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip,

Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will

upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. 


And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool.

        What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin.


To all of  you approaching 60 or have REACHED 60 and past,  this  email is especially for you……










I’m  only sending this to my ‘old’ friends.  

I love to see you smile.


The story begins with a cop who pulls over a lady after she catches her driving too slowly

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-Two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”



Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.  
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up.  You swing left and the ball goes right.  The lowest score wins, on top of that, the  winner buys the drinks. 

 is harder than baseball.  In Golf, you have to play your foul balls. 

If you find you do not mind playing Golf  in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip …your life is in  trouble.

ers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot. 

A ‘gimme‘ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers …neither of whom can putt very well. 

An interesting thing about Golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.  

‘s a hard game to figure.  One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.  The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink. 

If your best shots are the practice swing and the ‘gimme putt’, you might wish to reconsider this game.  

 is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you. 

 is like marriage.  If you  take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive. 

The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil with an eraser.

David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons  Why Golf Is  Better Than Sex…

… A below par performance is considered damn good.

#09… You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08…  It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07…  Foursomes are encouraged.
#06… You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05… Three times a day is possible.
#04… Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03… If you  live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#02… You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And the NUMBER ONEreason why golf is better than  sex…..
#01… When your equipment gets old you can replace it!


And finally  —  something about this “quiz” seems that there may be some substance to it  —  that is is you are completely candid in answering the dozen questions or so.  Should that be the case  —  I’m looking forward to the age of 92 as my departure date.  Check it out and see what you think???


Watch your age in the upper right corner!

Sort of  fun to watch your age go up and down as you answer the questions.

Now this is interesting, give it a try….

How long will you live? This is a calculator that estimates your life expectancy.

It was developed by Northwestern Mutual Life. It’s interesting that there are only 13 questions. Yet, they can predict how long you’re likely to live.

http://media.nmfn.com/ tnetwork/lifespan



“Sunday of Solid Gold” Monotony Breaker

I am EXTREMELY pleased to be back in NYS — and especially this weekend as I get to host the “Sunday of Sold Gold” at WIRY in Plattsburgh Sunday morning from 5 am till noon. And you can join me no matter where you might be at www.wiry.com or locally at 1340 AM or 100.7 FM. Its a very special show that will feature “Story Songs” from A to Z — and to make it even better — we’ll be playing the “Snippit” game between 9 am and noon where you can call in to identify either the title or artist of a given song — and be entered to win a CD as a prize.

It will be a lot of fun for sure — and I REALLY hope you’ll be able to join me for at least a portion of the show. I think you might like what you hear and as always — don’t hesitate to let me know what you think. . .

And oh yes  —  today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ a bit of “Country Philosophy” that hits pretty close to the mark. . .

Life from the seat of a tractor.
An old Farmer’s Words of Wisdom we could all live by…….

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered…….not yelled.”

“Meanness don’t just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain’t never gonna happen anyway.” 

“Don’t judge folks by their relatives. 

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

“Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.”

“Timin’ has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.”

“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got

“The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.”

“If you  get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.”

“Live simply, love generously , care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.”

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill  you.”

And, finally…………………. ………………  



A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

“Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.”

“Well,” said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, “These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.”

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

“I’ve got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?”

“Sure,” said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. “Here, Dolly!” he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up…

“I want that one,” the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.”

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, “You see sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

“How much?” asked the little boy…

“No charge,” answered the farmer, “There’s no charge for love.”


Talk about incredible TV ads???


And Finally. . .

Parenting in The Wilderness

Most of these Shots seem near Impossible to Get,

Yet this Photographer Got Em.

Awesome Pix

“I am thankful for small mercies.  I compared notes with one of my friends who expects everything of the universe, and is disappointed when anything is less than the best, and I found that I begin at the other extreme, expecting nothing, and am always full of thanks for moderate goods.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson



Oldies Mini-MB

Today’s edition of “Oldies with the Old Guy” (last one for the Spring Semester) has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available for your listening pleasure.  https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-05-02-17-live-shows-2016-2017/

Feel free to go to www.mixcloud.com ANY time you’re in the mood for Oldies  —  type “Bill Dickerson” into the Search Bar  —  and enjoy. . . 

But I digress  —  Today’s Mini-Monotony Breaker begins w/ some chalkboard advice from a filling station  —  that has a lot to say (and says it well.)  After seeing these, you may ask yourself as I did “Why aren’t more merchants around the world using this simple, but effective, means of stimulating interest???

A Johannesburg South Africa filling station has become quite a landmark in Gauteng with its daily #PetrolPumpWisdom – uplifting quotes written on a chalkboard


 Some motorists say they deliberately travel this route just to read the quote which brightens their day.

 Here’s A Selection:

The lady behind this wonderful initiative at Hutton Hyde Park is Alison Billett.

 She told SA People: “We inherited the board from the previous owner, Dick Hutton, when we bought the filling station from him almost 20 years ago.

“We continued the tradition and it has become a landmark 

– more so now that it’s on social media!

“Not a day goes by when I don’t get a call or a visit from someone to tell me how much they appreciate the message – it seems that every day there’s something that just speaks to what is going on in someone’s life and that inspires or motivates them.

“Having people come and tell me their stories and how the quote helped them in some small way is what motivates me to keep writing!

 “We use a variety of quotations – some are topical, some are funny, some are inspirational, some even reflect what is going on in my life that day!

 “Different things appeal to different people…

 “The boards were spotted by a motivational speaker from the UK, Geoff Ramm, when he was driving by one day and he was so taken by them he included a piece about them in his book!

 “The boards have appeared many times in newspapers and magazines and been spoken about on radio stations all over the world. 9GAG has re-tweeted them a few times too!”

 Bob 95 FM in the USA recently posted Alison’s “Rest in Peace” quote which has now been shared over a quarter of a million times around the world!


Having just turned the “Big 70” a few weeks ago  —  the following hits a little “too close to home”. . .

Q:   Where can single men over the age of 70 find
younger women who are interested in them?

A:   Try a bookstore, under

Q:   What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?

A:   Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can
finish the basement.  When you’re done, you will have a place to

Q:   Someone has told me that menopause is
mentioned in the bible… Is that true?
Where can it be

A:   Yes. Matthew 14:92:
“And Mary rode
Joseph’s ass all the way to   Egypt

Q:   How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-70 year-old husband?

A:   Tell him you’re

Q:   How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?

A:   Take off your

Q:   Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?

A:   Go braless. It will usually pull them

Q:   Why should 70-plus year old people use valet

A:   Valets don’t forget where they park your

Q:   Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have
problems with  short term memory storage?

A:   Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
is the problem.

Q:   As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A:   Yes, but usually in the

Q:   Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye

A:   On their

Q:   What is the most common remark made by 70-plus
year olds when they enter antique stores?

A:   “Gosh, I remember


And Finally. . .


2016-2017 “Live” Concerts Monotony Breaker

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some Photos that you’ve probably never seen  —  and most of which are “amazing.”  It continues w/ some of the entertaining bits to which readers of these Monotony Breakers have become accustomed.

And lest we forget  —  today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” gets underway at 8:00 am Pacific (11:00 am Eastern) at titanradio.org (or the “ifullerton app on your smart phone.) Check it out. . .

Miss America 1924

Helen Keller Meeting Charlie Chaplin

Leather gloves worn by Lincoln to Ford’s Theater on the night of his assassination. Blood stains are visible at the cuffs.

Phoebe Mozee (aka: Annie Oakley). Famed for her marksmanship by 12 years old, she once shot the ashes off of Kaiser Wihelm II’s
cigarette at his invitation. When she outshot famed exhibition marksman Frank Butler, he fell in love with her and they married.
They remained married the rest of their lives.

Very Young Lucy Lucille Ball around 1930

Amy Johnson, English aviator 1903-1941 One of the first women to gain a pilot’s license, Johnson won fame when she flew solo from
Britain to Australia in 1930. Her dangerous flight took 17 days. Later she flew solo to India and Japan and became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic East to West, she volunteered to fly for The Women’s Auxiliary Air Force in WW 2, but her plane was shot down over the River Thames and she was killed.

Prison Garb 1924. Belva Annan murderess whose trial records became the musical ” Chicago .”

Female photojournalist Jessie Tarbox on the street with her camera, 1900’s.

Roald Amundsen was the first person to reach the South Pole. At approximately 3pm on December 14, 1911, Amundsen raised the flag of Norway at the South Pole and named the spot Polheim — “Pole Home.”

The extraordinary life of Maud Allen: Seductive US dancing girl who was sued for being too lewd, outed as a lesbian, and fled London after being branded a German spy who was sleeping with the prime minister’s wife.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Caroline Otero, courtesan, the most sought after woman in all of Europe. She associated herself with the likes of Prince Albert I of Monaco, King Edward VII of the United Kingdom, Kings of Serbia, and Kings of Spain as well as Russian Grand Dukes Peter and Nicholas, the Duke of Westminster and writer Gabriele D’Annunzio. Six men reportedly committed suicide after their love affairs with Otero ended. Two men fought a duel over her.
She was famed for her voluptuous breasts.

Wedding day photograph of Abraham and Mary taken November 4, 1842, Springfield, Illinois after three years of a stormy courtship and a broken engagement. Their love had endured.

Billie Holiday at two years old, in 1917

Washington, D.C., circa 1919. “Walter Reed Hospital flu ward.” One of the very few images in Washington-area photo archives documenting the influenza contagion of 1918-1919, which killed over 500,000 Americans and tens of millions around the globe. Most victims succumbed to bacterial pneumonia following influenza virus infection.

Filming the MGM Logo

Amelia Earhart

Mae Questel ca. 1930’s, the voice of Betty Boop and Olive Oyl, Minnie Mouse, Felix the Cat (for three shorts by the Van Beuren Studios), Little Lulu, Little Audrey and  Casper, the Friendly Ghost

Bea Arthur (née Bernice Frank el) (1922-2009) SSgt. USMC 1943-45 WW II. Enlisted and assigned as typist at Marine HQ in Wash DC, then air stations in VA and NC. Best remembered for her title role in the TV series “Maude” and as Dorothy in “Golden Girls”.

In 1911, Bobby Leach survived a plunge over Niagara Falls in a steel barrel. Fourteen years later, in New Zealand, he slipped on an orange peel and died.

Emily Todd was Mary Todd Lincoln’s half-sister. In 1856 she married Benjamin Helm, a Confederate general. After Helm’s death in 1863 Emily Helm passed through Union Lines to visit her sister in the White House. This caused great consternation in the Northern newspapers. Emily Helm took an oath of loyalty to the Union and was granted amnesty

Three days before his 19th birthday, George H.W. Bush became the youngest aviator in the US Navy.

Market Street, San Francisco after the earthquake, 1906.

All-American Girls Baseball, 1940’s

1943 : Breast Protectors for War Workers

Mary Ellen Wilson (1864–1956) or sometimes Mary Ellen McCormack was an American whose case of child abuse led to the creation of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. As an eight-year old, she was severely abused by her foster parents, Francis and Mary Connolly.

Sacajawea. Stolen, held captive, sold, eventually reunited the Shoshone Indians. She was an interpreter and guide for Lewis and Clark in 1805-1806 with her husband Toussaint Charbonneau. She navigated carrying her son, Jean Baptiste, on her back. She traveled thousands of miles from the Dakotas the Pacific Ocean . The explorers, said she was cheerful, never complained, and proved to be invaluable. She served as an advisor, caretaker, and is legendary for her perseverance and resourcefulness.

Zelda Boden, circus performer, ca. 1910.

A Confederate and Union soldier shake hands during a celebration at Gettysburg in 1913. Image from the Library of Congress. July 1-3, 2013 marks the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg.

Geraldine Doyle, who was the inspiration behind the famous Rosie the Riveter poster.

Vintage Baked Potato Cart.
A legitimate fast food lunch option back in the day.

Black physicians treating in the ER a member of the
Ku Kux Klan

Cyclists ride in the first running of the Tour de France, in 1903.

Sergeant Stubby (1916 or 1917 – April 4, 1926), was the most decorated war dog of World War I and the only dog to be promoted to sergeant through combat. America ‘s first war dog, Stubby, served 18 months ‘over there’ and participated in seventeen battles on the Western Front. He saved his regiment from surprise mustard gas attacks, found and comforted the wounded, and even once caught a German spy by the seat of his pants (holding him there till American Soldiers found him).

Nightwitches – Female Russian bombers who bombedGermany during WW 2. They had old, noisy planes and the engines used to conk out halfway through their missions, so they had to climb out on the wings mid-flight to restart the props!

To stop Germans from hearing them and starting up the anti aircraft guns,they’d climb to a certain height, coast down to German positions, drop their bombs, restart their engines in midair, then get the hell out of dodge. Their leader flew 200+ missions and was never captured.

Marilyn Monroe meets Queen Elizabeth II, London,

1956 Both women are 30 years old.

Chief Petty Officer Graham Jackson plays “Going Home” as FDR’s body is borne past in Warm Springs, GA, where thePresident was scheduled to attend a barbecue on the day he died.

April, 1945.



A wonderful uplifting story from an ‘ole guy’ in The Villages

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.   The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.  ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000  the jeweler said

 The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.  The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘By check.  I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said  ‘Sir…There’s no money in that account.
”I know,’ said the old man…‘But let me tell you about my weekend.’

Not All Seniors Are Senile…


When Will Men Ever Learn They Aren’t Immortal???

Son, next time I’ll be William Tell

This South African cop probably missed a few training days

Irony overload


Garden or no garden, we must have a trampoline

I’ll wear it, but only because I have to!

Easy to walk forwards, not so easy to get back…

This man’s got his priorities straight

If they pull this off they’re engineering geniuses

I like teamwork, but this…?

Keep on believing! Nothing can go wrong

What’s the one part of your body you’d trust to a galloping giant?

Oh yeah, like that’s gonna help?

Can’t find your helmet? No problem – use a bucket

Ok, friend, I’ve got a job for you. It’s a tough one…

An opened window does not a balcony make

This guy likes his odds

Do you think he’s a professional window cleaner?


And Finally. . .


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

  1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

  1. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

  1. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

  1. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

  1. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

  1. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

  1. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

  1. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

  1. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

“Oldies” Story Songs Mini-MB

Today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” (Story Songs I thru O) has been successfully uploaded to Mixcloud and I must say it’s “pretty darn good.”  Check it out at https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-04-25-17-story-songs-i-thru-o/

In the meantime  —  today’s Mini Monotony Breaker begins w/ what some might call a “rhetorical question”

Who says Men Can’t Decorate???


40 years of marriage.. 

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:

‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.!

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…

The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story:

Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female …..


A group of HELLS ANGELS bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey Baby . whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!”

“Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . . why don’t you give ol’ George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did justthat . . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.


Retired people…..

Four men are walking down a street in Miami, Florida. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “ALL DRINKS 10 Cents.” They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.  In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, “That’ll be 10 cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired Disney Artist from Orlando,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it’s all the same.”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there.  Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “Those are retired folks from New York.  They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price…”


And finally  —  definitive proof of how the “X and Y” chromosomes affects one’s thinking. . .

Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, “nothing.”
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving.  I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. We had sex, he fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s  Diary: 

A two-foot putt.. Who the hell misses a two-foot putt–


Story Songs Monotony Breaker

With United Airlines dominating the news of late  —  it’s only appropriate that today’s Monotony Breaker begin w/  some new marketing slogans that the company may wish to consider.  

But before that  —  this reminder that the Tuesday AM edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” (8:00 am Pacific and 11:00 am Eastern) at www.titanradio.org continues our series on “Story Songs” so I would encourage you to “check it out.”  In the meantime. . .

Slogans for United Airlines

We have First Class, Business Class, and No Class.

Our prices can’t be beaten…but our passengers can.

We put the hospital in hospitality.

We beat our passengers, not the competition.

We have an offer you can’t refuse. No, really.

Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.

Not enough seating? Prepare for a beating.

And you thought legroom was an issue.

If our staff need a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet.

We treat you like we treat your luggage.

Fight or flight.

You may have patients, but we don’t have patience.

We have red-eye and black-eye flights available.

Now serving free punch.


And having just celebrated Easter  —  a bit of reverence seems only appropriate. . .

While the priest was presenting a children’s sermon. 

He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. 


Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time,

Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. 


In response to the question ‘what is the resurrection’, a little boy [Charlie Baumann] raised his hand. 


The priest called on him and the boy said, 

‘I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours 
You are supposed to call the doctor. 

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough to continue the service.


And finally  —  you do NOT need to be a golfer to appreciate the humor in the following depictions (that are all too close to reality for those of us who attempt this game. . .)


‘Man, that is really devious of her. Making club covers of her and the kids to guilt trip you every time you golf.’

During the life boat drill, a man has used his wife’s life jacket for his golf clubs.

International “Louie Louie Day” Monotony Breaker

April 11, 1935, Richard Berry was born, and its likely that you may ask “why is that of interest?”  Well, believe it or not, Richard Berry will go down in history as one of the most influential people in Pop Music History  —  and w/ today’s designation as “International Louie Louie Day  —  this edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” delves into the Richard Berry Story and lays it all out in a most interesting way.  Please join us at 11:00 am Eastern (8:00 am Pacific) for what I can assure you will be one of the most entertaining shows we’ve ever done.  Check it at www.titanradio.org or the “ifullerton” app on your smart phone.

In the meantime  —  on w/ today’s Monotony Breaker. . .


Six Little Stories

{1}  Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.

That’s FAITH.

{2}  When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them.

That’s TRUST.

{3}  Every night we go to bed without any assurance of being alive the next morning,

but still we set the alarms to wake up.

That’s HOPE.

{4}  We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.


{5}  We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.

That’s LOVE.

{6}  On an old man’s shirt was written a sentence

‘I am not 80 years old;  I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.’


Have a happy day and live your life like the six stories.


When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it’s like a mini-vacation.





The Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, “I did some homework.” The robot slaps the son.

The son says, “Ok, Ok, I was at a friend’s house watching movies.” Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?” Son says, “Toy Story.” The robot slaps the son.

Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching a dirty movie.” Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what a dirty movie was.” The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.” The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale….



This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina .
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then
insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great
cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of
small fires.’
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that
the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion..
The lawyer sued and WON!
(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the
cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
‘fire’ and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
loss of the cigars that perished in the ‘fires’.

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was
convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year’s Criminal Lawyers Award




And Finally  —  we end w/ some “nostalgia”. . .





Two-Sided Hits Mini-MB

Two-sided Musical Hits were a rarity  —  but it happened  —  and today’s “Oldies w/ the Old Guy”   https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-04-04-17-two-sided-hits/  contains some of the best.  Check it out.

In the meantime, today’s Mini Monotony Breaker begins w/ some interesting facts  —  most of which you will not have known  —  and continues w/ a couple other bits of entertainment.  Enjoy. . .


Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear.
At a travel agency in Shanghai , I asked the Chinese girl behind
the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her
for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, 
“Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight”.

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder
and said, “What she really said was:  666136429.”


Golfers  —  you will LOVE this. . .


Before reading the neat poem below, here is a little known fact about golf balls. 

       According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls

per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752 every day.

       Worried about running out? Don’t be. Companies like Titleist are
working hard to ensure that never happens. Titleist makes 1.2 million golf
balls each day.

Now enjoy the poem, below.

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,

The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,

I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,

A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,

I loathe it, And Want To Die.

It Promises A Thing Called Par,

If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,

And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,

But The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.



Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls.  A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study found  golfers drink, on average, 22 gallonsof alcohol a year.  That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.  

 Kind of makes you proud.  You’re like … a hybrid!


And Finally  —  some GREAT stuff from “Life Hacks”. . .

April Monotony Breaker

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some “Geezer Planet” observations that certainly “make one think”  —  and continues w/ other entertaining bits to take your mind off whatever might be bothering you.

AND  —  Tuesday’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” features “Two-sided Hits.”  If you’re too young to know that that means  —  tune in at 11:00 am Eastern (8:00 am Pacific) at www.titanradio.org or the “ifullerton” app on your smartphone for a bit of “education” from the “Oldies” guy. . .


     A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
     “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”
     She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”
     “If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?”
     “We use it for sex,” she said.
     The researcher was a little taken aback. “Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.  I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?”
     The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband  and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”


Some more “interesting observations”  —  a few of which are sure to apply to EVERYONE. . .


And Finally  —  The importance of walking. . .

Walking can add minutes to your life.   This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.


My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.   Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing…

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.  I haven’t lost a pound.  Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.