MB for International Women’s Day

This week’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” celebrates “International Women’s Day”  —  and does so in the “happiest” of ways (if you know what I mean) and has been uploaded to Mixcloud.  Check it out at https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-03-08-16-happy/

However, in the meantime  —  today’s Monotony Breaker is “particularly” interesting from a number of different perspectives  —  beginning w/ some “creative” signage.  Enjoy. . .









A Wise Man once said. . .

  1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.2. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – Priceless.

    3. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore.  A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

     4. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser.  Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

    5. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

    6. On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese!



Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store in Ladysmith. I placed them on the front seat of the HHR and headed back home.


I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice,
“I’m a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?”

                      I thought about it for a second and said “What kinda beer you got”



Do not regret growing older.
It is a privilege denied to many.



My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, “you appear quite elderly to be driving.”
“Well, yes, I am,” she replied proudly. “I’ll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don’t even need a driver’s license anymore.
“The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver’s license.
I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying,
‘You won’t need this anymore,’ so I thanked him and left!”


Just wanted to say Hi, AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!

    A smile – is a sign of joy.
    A hug – is a sign of love.
    A laugh – is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like me? Well…that’s just a sign of good taste???


And finally  —  a video treat that is truly enjoyable and connotes nice memories. . .

10 years of Budweiser commercials.


MB and Oldies Alert

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some photos that will surprise most  —  and continues w/ some of those entertaining tidbits to which you’ve become accustomed.

Also  —  today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available for your listening pleasure by clicking  right here  https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-03-01-16-day-in-history/   And this reminder that Mixcloud has around 50 of these shows that are available for your listening pleasure whenever you see fit.  Merely go to www.mixcloud.com  and enter “billdickerson” (no space) in the Search Box at the top  —  and make your selection.  Don’t hesitate to let me know what you think.

And speaking of reminders  —  don’t forget that many of the most recent Monotony Breakers (and eventually, many of the older ones as well) are available at our new website  www.monotonybreaker.com  Check it out at your leisure  —  and feel free to share at will.

In the meantime  —  on w/ today’s Monotony Breaker. . .

When They Were Young

Yul Brynner


Buddy Ebsen


Don Rickles




Mae West


Dolly Parton


Tom Hanks


Patrick Stewart


William Shatner


Fred Gwynne


Sean Connery


Dwight Eisenhower


Marlon Brando


WWII Lucy and Desi


Glenn Ford


Dan Blocker


Young Jack


Charles Durning


Gene Hackman


Steve McQueen


Johnny Cash


Jack Benny


Leonard Nimoy


Brothers James Arness and Peter Graves


Clark Gable

Clint Eastwood Senior Year 1949 Oakland Technical High School, Oakland, CA Credit: Seth Poppel/Yearbook Library

Clint Eastwood Senior Year 1949
Oakland Technical High School, Oakland, CA
Credit: Seth Poppel/Yearbook Library

Clint Eastwood


Frank Sinatra


Ed McMahon


Lee Marvin


Paul Newman


Edward G Robinson  WW I


Farrah Fawcett


Jack Nicholson


 An Example of what Deep Thinkers Are?



I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said ‘nothing’ instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she then would have asked ‘about what?’ At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they “know”?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really “know”, here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

I rest my case.  Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap in that hammock.


And especially for those in the great Northeast  —  something that many will find educational  —  and certainly interesting. . .



Today’s lesson

Daddy’s car in the woods.

Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.
Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a Passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.
‘Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane…’

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, ‘Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time.
I want to see the look on Daddy’s Face when you tell it tonight.’

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story.

I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.
I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs.’

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Before you interrupt! Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story


And Finally  —  a hilarious couple minutes from Jay Thomas on the David Letterman Show that features none other than “The Lone Ranger.”  Enjoy. . .



Oldies MB 2-23-16

Today’s Monotony Breaker includes the proverbial cornucopia of interesting bits of entertainment  —  and of course the link on Mixcloud to today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy”  Click on the following

https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-02-23-16-101theone-3a/  and, as always, let me know what you think. . .

To begin, the ads that follow “supposedly” appeared in a newspaper circulated at “The Villages” in Florida. They are “hilarious.” And having just returned from a few days in Florida  —  they appear to be entirely reasonable.  Enjoy. . .

Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′),
Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.  Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier
to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on
Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads
My favorite…

Male, 1932 model , high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.



An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey,
He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden,
But it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like
I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like
The old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Don’t dig up that garden.

That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. The next morning,
FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up
The entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,



  1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
    — John Adams
  1. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
    — Mark Twain
  1. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
    — Mark Twain
  1. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
    Winston Churchill
  1. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
    — George Bernard Shaw
  1. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
    — G. Gordon Liddy
  1. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
    James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
  1. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
    — Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.
  1. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
    — P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian
  1. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
    — Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
  1. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
    Ronald Reagan (1986)
  1. I don’t make jokes.I just watch the government and report the facts.
    — Will Rogers
  1. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!
    — P. J. O’Rourke
  1. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
    Voltaire (1764)
  1. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!
    — Pericles (430 B.C.)
  1. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
    — Mark Twain (1866)
  1. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.
    — Anonymous
  1. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
    — Ronald Reagan
  1. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
    — Winston Churchill
  1. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    — Mark Twain
  1. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
    — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
  1. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress.
    — Mark Twain
  1. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians
    Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
  1. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
    — Thomas Jefferson
  1. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
    — Aesop


Free Sex With Fill Up

A gas station owner in Tennessee was trying to increase his sales.
So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.
The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.”

Bubba replied, “It ain’t rigged. My wife won twice last week.


‘Completed’ and ‘Finished’ What’s the difference?

Especially for English Language Lovers..

Can any one tell the difference between ‘Completed’ and ‘Finished’?

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’

However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner.

His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’ Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are ‘Complete.’ If you marry the wrong woman, you are ‘Finished.’ And , when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are ‘Completely Finished.’

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.




And Finally  — 


1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
5) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.


1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge… mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS: How true this one is.

At age 4 success is . . . … Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is … . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is ….. . Having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is . … . Having money.
At age 50 success is . .. .. Having money.
At age 70 success is . … . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is … … Having friends.
At age 80 success is . .. .. Not piddling in your pants.

Valentine’s MB Special…

. . . which is nothing more than subterfuge for some of the sexiest songs of all time  —  at least according to Billboard Magazine  —  so that’s what you’ll hearin today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy”  which has now been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available at the following link.


And by the way  —  you can hear any one of some 50 or so “Oldies” Shows at www.mixcloud.com by simply typing “billdickerson” into the Search Space at the top.

And in the meantime  —  on with today’s Monotony Breaker. . .

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!

In fact, that error would be continued in all of
the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, “We have been copying

from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

“We missed the R! We missed the R!

We missed the bloody R!” 

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, “What’s wrong, father?”

With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

“The word was ….






















Leather Dresses

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress,
a man’s heart beats quicker,


his throat gets dry,


he gets weak in the knees,


and he begins to think irrationally.


Ever wonder why?

It’s because she
smells like a new golf bag!!!





And Finally  —  As the Commercials from last week’s Superbowl begin to fade  —  one more that is really something. . .



Monotony Breaker – 1/15/16

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some great photos of “youngsters” who, despite their early beginnings, went on to make their mark on history.  It then continues w/ some rather entertaining “stuff” as usual.

Also, since “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” is on hiatus during the January Break  —  I’ve uploaded the show from March 23, 2013 that  —  despite a couple “mistakes”  —  I believe you may find interesting.  Check it out by clicking on the link below  —  and let me know of you caught my rather embarrassing errors. . .



We have all seen old pics of famous people but the text with these

make them most interesting.





image006 image007 image008 image009 image010 image011 image012 image013 image014 image015 image016 image017 image018 image019 image020 image021 image022 image023 image024 image025 image026 image027 image028  



 Therapy session with four young mothers

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: “Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”

At this point, the fourth mother, Donna quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, “Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Let’s pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.”


Reflections from the Seat of an Old Tractor


Old Farmer’s Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered……not yelled.

Meanness don’t just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don ‘t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time..

Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.

Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.




And finally  —  one of the most entertaining bits you will ever see  —  and its 100% “clean.”  Check it out. . .

This happened over 30 years ago. Only those of us over 50 will recognize the people in the front row.


Monotony Breaker – 12/21/15

Monotony Breakers  —  a staid source of entertainment since the early 90’s for some  —  are about to enter the “Modern Age” (thanks to my son, Brian  —  the Computer Wiz) with the creation of its own website  www.MonotonyBreaker.com  What this means for you is that each of these entertaining epistles will now be archived on a website that can be accessed at will by you and others as well.  So continue to share these emails as many of you currently do  —  but don’t hesitate to refer friends to the website as you deem appropriate.

And since Monotony Breakers over the past couple weeks have been “spotty” at best  —  many of you never received the links to my two most recent radio shows. Specifically, 


links to the December 8th Show  —  and its significance throughout history from a musical perspective.  And not to be outdone, the December 15th edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” features “Rock’s Greatest Drummers” (and I can assure you that you will like what you hear.


So I ask that you bear with us as we work our way through this “new era of Monotony Breakers” and continue to enjoy “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” as so many of you do every week.  Believe me  —  it is VERY much appreciated.

Monotony Breaker 12-15-15

Today’s Monotony Breaker is mostly graphics that I’m sure you’ll enjoy. 

And today’s edition of my weekly radio show  —  “Oldies with the Old Guy” has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available for your listening pleasure simply by clicking on the following link  https://www.mixcloud.com/billdickerson/oldies-with-the-old-guy-12-15-15-rocks-greatest-drummers/

Check it out  —  and let me know what you think. . .









  image005 image006

image007 image008 image009 image010 image011


image013 image014 image015 image016 image017



A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says,

‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today….’
The bartender says, ‘Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this
one is on me.

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, ‘I would like to buy
you a drink, too.’ The old woman says, ‘Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch
with two drops of water.’ ‘Coming up,’ says the bartender

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, ‘I would like to buyyou one,
too.’ The old woman says, ‘Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two
drops of water.’ ‘Coming right up,’ the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, ‘Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch
with only two drops of water?’ The old woman replies, ‘Sonny, when you’re my age,
you’ve learned how to hold your liquor.
Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.’


Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN… You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

‘OLD’ IS WHEN. ‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take any fiber today.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN… ‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…. An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.


OLD’ IS WHEN…. You are not sure these are jokes. 



And finally  —  With Hunting Season but a recent memory  —  a look back. . .


This actually happened…..


They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the roof.   The driver and passengers put on moose heads. 

Then they went down the toll road Interstate……………….causing 16 accidents .




                    Yes; they went to jail..

                    Yes; alcohol was involved…

                    Yes; men cannot be left alone.




Oldies/Mini Monotony Breaker – 12/14/15

Suffice it to say, Monotony Breakers are experiencing some “difficulties” to say the least  —  in that there is the perception that they may be considered “spam” by some of the Internet Service Providers.  As such, my efforts are a bit “hindered” at the present  —  but w/ any luck this is only a temporary inconvenience.

As such  —  for the time being, you will not be receiving two/week  —  but instead, only one that hopefully links you to that show of the week  —  and even though it is a bit of a challenge to accomplish this under the current conditions  —  we shall do our best to do just that.

This week’s program (please ignore my modesty, here) is really, really good.  So please check it out at your convenience by clicking on the link below.  I really think you will enjoy it. . .



And in the meantime  —  on w/ today’s Mini Monotony Breaker. . .

1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

 2. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – Priceless.

3. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore.  A friend of mine   was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

 4. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken,   Carlsberg,   & Budweiser.  Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

5. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

6. On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese!


A Magic trick from our friends the Brits. . .

This Magic Trick Will Leave You Stunned!


And finally . . .

Soap Bubbles…


Soap Bubbles– ( click here )

This is so cool!!!!!

Monotony Breaker – 12/1/2015

Today is “Giving Tuesday”  —  and as such, today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ a quick trip through the 50’s that is guaranteed to bring back nice memories to those of us who are baby boomers (and older) and guaranteed to raise questions  —  albeit in a very entertaining way  —  for those who were not around to experience it first hand.  Enjoy. . .

And oh yes  —  Oldies w/ the Old Guy  —  my weekly trip down memory lane  —  also celebrates “Giving Tuesday.”  Check it out at out 8:00 am Pacific (11:00 am Eastern) on

But without further adieu  —  The Fabulous Fifties. . .



A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

Finally the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

“Breast-fed” she replied.

“Well!, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said,

No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”

“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.”


Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???

DONALD TRUMP:   All Mexican chickens who wish to cross this road must submit to a complete background check, and full body search. 

BARACK OBAMA:  Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs.  No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs.  Period. 

JOHN McCain:  My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:  What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

DICK CHENEY:  Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!  It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions.  I am not for
it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white? 

DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other
side of the road.  What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly.  So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 

NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty!  You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going.  I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road?  Did he cross it with a toad?  Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL:  Because the chicken was gay!  Can’t you people see the plain truth?  That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’  Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay.  If you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too.  I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’  That chicken should not be crossing the road.  It’s as plain and
as simple as that.

GRANDPA:  In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us

BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn’t that interesting?  In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case
of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:  Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:  I have just released e-Chicken 2015, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.  Internet Explorer is
an integral part of e-Chicken 2015.  This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. 

ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:  Did I miss one?????? 


The Art Collector’s Wife

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, “Saul, I have some good news and, I have some bad news.”

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.”

The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million.  I think she could be right.”

Saul replied enthusiastically, “Well done!  My wife is a brilliant businesswoman!  You’ve just made my day.  Now I know I can handle the bad news.  What is it?”

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”


Finally  —  on this Giving Tuesday  —  something with which we can each relate. . .

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident..

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.


Hold on tight to the ones you love!