Mini MB — Oct. 17th

A quick Mini-Monotony Breaker to let you know that this morning’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy  —  10-17-16” celebrating the 17th of October and those musical notes of significance that took place on this date.  Check it out at





















One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’

‘No,’ she answered.

I then said,’Is that your final answer?’

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..


My wife at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, “Do you know him?”

“Yes”, she sighed, he’s my old boyfriend. He began drinking right after we split up years ago, and hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started…


When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I always had something else to take care of. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Lots of dust.”

And then the fight started…


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds.”

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started……


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left it at home. I told the woman I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver chest hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’

And then the fight started…


My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

That’s when the fight began . . .


I rear-ended a car this morning . . .

the start of a really bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said ‘I am NOT Happy!’

So I said, ‘Well, which one ARE you then?’

That’s how the fight started





  It never ends does it !!…..Oh well, we’ve just got to grin & bear it. !!


. . . and finally  —  the “commercial” that was intended for yesterday’s MB but composer (that would be me) screwed up. . .


































October 17th Monotony Breaker (And Oldies Alert)

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some absolutely amazing sculptures  —  and then continues w/ some humorous bits that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

And Today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” (Mondays at 8:00 am Pacific  —  11:00 am Eastern) hones in on today’s date  —  the 17th of October  —  and a lot of the fascinating Musical “events” that took place on this date.  Check it out at or the “ifullerton” app on your smartphone.  In the meantime  —  enjoy. . .




Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to NY other to California.  Every ten years they agree to
meet in Chicago and play golf.

They finish their round at age 30 and go to lunch. “Where  you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“Well,  you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts.  The legs…”


Ten  years later at 40 they play. “Where  you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“Well,  you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”


Ten  years later at 50. “Where  you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“The  food is good and there is plenty of parking.”


At  60 –  “Where  you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“Wings are half price.”


At  70 – “Where  you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”


At  80 –

“Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.”


“We’ve never been there before.












And Finally  —  a Commercial that makes one “think”. . .



















Oct. 10 Mini-Monotony Breaker

1st Mini-Monotony Breaker in quite a while  —  but hopefully, the 1st of many.  Begins w/ some great old photos   —  most of which are absolutely amazing  —  followed by a couple other “cute” things.

By the way  —  today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” has been uploaded to mixcloud.  Check it out at  and let me know what you think. . .


Unusual Old Photographs

Using a bear to treat back pain. Romania , 1946.


Setting a new world speed record, 1948.

A sex education lesson, 1929.

Lumberjacks, 1900s.
William Harley and Arthur Davidson, founders of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Company.
A gun used for duck hunting, early 20th century.
Military electricians, 1918.
Filming the production logo for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.
Testing a rugby helmet, 1912.
German industrial worker August Landmesser, whose wife was Jewish, refusing to salute Hitler. Hamburg , 1936.

A pilot tries to start the stalled propeller of his plane during flight.
The biggest horse in the world, 1928.
Using ducklings as therapy animals, 1956.
Young women in Kabul , Afghanistan , 1970’s.
Ernest Hemingway having a drink.
The last photo ever taken of a Thylacine, 1933. This species is now extinct.
The models used by Grant Wood for his famous painting, American Gothic.
Seventeen-year-old Bianca Passarge dances on wine bottles in a cat costume. Hamburg , 1958.
Class differences. Britain , 1937.
Miss New Zealand falls unconscious. Miss Universe competition, Long Beach , 15th July 1954.
The two-year-old Dalai Lama, 1937.
The way real men shave, 1940.
Arctic explorer Peter Freuchen with his wife, 1947.
A little girl encounters a penguin for the first time.
Unpacking the Statue of Liberty , 1885.
A soldier shares some bananas with a goat. Battle of Saipan , 1944.
Original Michelin, 1910.
A man and woman on a date, 1950s.



Dan was a single guy living at home with his father, and working in the family business. 

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. 

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. 

I may look like an ordinary guy,” he said to her, 
but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.”

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.

Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.


During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to

the person to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger

than the spoon or the teacup.” 

“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”


And finally  —  the thoughtful confessions of a 6 year old. . .



Yup, some people can’t handle the truth!


My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”

She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. 

I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. 

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal’s office.

He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. 

I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”

Guess where the f**k I am now… 

Columbus Day Monotony Breaker (and Oldies Alert)

Been a long time since you’ve received a Monotony Breaker  —  so it better be a good one  —  and it is.  It begins w/ some photogenic sayings designed to “tickle the funny bone”  —  and continues w/ a short compilation of “entertaining” bits.  Enjoy. . .

And please note the new time for “Oldies w/ the Old Guy”  —  MONDAY morning at 8:00 am Pacific (11:00 am Eastern) at

With any luck this one hour trip down Memory Lane will be up on Mixcloud later in the day  —  but try to check it out in real time if you can  —  and by all means, let me know what you think. . .(or if you have any interesting ideas for future “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” shows). . .


















And for those of us who enjoy a “bit of the Grape” every now and then. . .











Golf Story

John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn.

So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours,
they got caught in a terrible blizzard.  So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained, ‘and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’

‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf. 

But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, “Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?’

‘Yes, I do,’ said Shawn

‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’

“Well, um, yes!,’ Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that I did.’

And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’

“Shawn’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.  Why do you ask?’

‘She just died and left me everything.


And finally  —  I’m sure many of you know that Glen Campbell was a highly sought-after Studio Musician long before he became a successful recording artist.  What follows is an amazing example of just how good he really was. . .

Subject: The Lone Ranger Rides Again
For most of the 1960s, Glen Campbell’s brilliant guitar playing was known only by a select few top recording studios and artists. But long before Glen became known nationally as an outstanding vocalist, actor and TV personality, he was one of the most in-demand recording studio guitarists in the world.

He could have earned a 7-figure annual income as a high-end studio guitarist for years on end if that had been all he cared to do. How good was he?
You’ll see in a moment. Many of us grew up watching the Lone Ranger and Tonto on black and white television. Years later, many of us
watched the Glen Campbell show on TV as well.

This video is a clip of a younger Glen Campbell playing the William Tell Overture (with a symphony orchestra) and dedicating it to Clayton
Moore, who played the Lone Ranger, and Jay Silverheels, who played Tonto.

You may never have seen Glen play like this before. This is world-class guitar playing and Campbell makes it look easy. Glen Campbell on guitar and the symphony orchestra playing Rossini’s  “William Tell Overture” will take you back to those golden days of yesteryear, when the strains of the Rossini’s masterpiece coming over the radio and TV meant the Lone Ranger show was about to begin.

Click on this video, one you may have never seen before…and re-live those thrilling days of yesteryear!

Hi Yo Silver, Away! (“The William Tell Overture” by Giaochino Rossini)






April Monotony Breaker — What WERE they thinking???

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some rather interesting “situations”  —  and continues w/ some hilarious  —  and in some cases  —  touching “stuff.”

Please note that this week’s “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available for your listening enjoyment.  It features “This Day in History” and is “fascinating” (if I do say so myself).  Click here 

And don’t forget to tell all your friends about  —  the weekly choice for “entertainment.”














Wine Lovers  —  take note. . .















A Videolink to make you smile. . . 


And Finally  —  a link that will make you “think”  —  a 60 second commercial that is really powerful. . .


Hall of Fame Monotony Breaker

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ Maxine’s “take” on a recent sermon that she heard  —  and continues w/ several similar entertaining bits.

And this reminder  —  today’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” had some broadcast difficulties  —  but the show, itself has been preserved at mixcloud and is available at 

It features a man described as the greatest songwriter of whom you’ve never heard  —  Bert Berns  —  and I can assure that you will find it quite interesting.  Enjoy. . .

(and don’t forget that you can satisfy your MB habit at ANY time by simply going to)


“4 Worms In Church

Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!!


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
1. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

2. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

3. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

4. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol Dead .


The second worm in cigarette smoke Dead .


Third worm in chocolate syrup Dead .


Fourth worm in good clean soil Alive…

So the Minister asked the congregation, “What did you learn from this demonstration?”


Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said
As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”
That pretty much ended the service


A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
“Well, sir, if there was any Work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”
The room fell silent.
God Bless the enlisted man.





A Cup  of Tea made with cold water.

One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a  little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. 

Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water

After several cups of tea and lot of praise for such yummy tea, my Grandma came home. My Grandpa made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’

Grandma waited, and sure enough, here I came down the  hall with a cup of tea for Grandpa, and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a grandma would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”


And finally  —  three proven ways to fail a “drunken” test (and to think at least two of these three people were driving???)  

Spring Break Monotony Breaker — humorous, melodic and uplifting — what more could one ask for???

It’s Spring Break at Cal State Fullerton  —  no live radio broadcast this week, so a good opportunity to dig into the archives and find a great show from the past that is not currently available on Mixcloud.

 And you don’t have to be a huge fan of country music to enjoy this edition of “Country Gold”  —   check it out at    

I can assure you  —  this is NOT YOUR GRANDPARENTS COUNTRY MUSIC.

And this reminder that today’s Monotony Breaker  —  as well as other MB’s over the past several months are available at any time at  Check it out.

In the meantime  —  on with today’s Spring Break Monotony Breaker.  Enjoy. . .



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Currently reading the Steve Jobs Biography  —  makes this all the more pertinent. . .

thought 1thought 6 thought 2 thought 4 thought 5

20​ years ago the USA had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now the USA has no Jobs​, no Hope, and no Cash…​


Tech Support


A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with this answer.


Dear Tech Support,


’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


What can I do?





Dear Desperate,


“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.


However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring 3.2.


In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck!’


The Black Bra   (as told by a woman)  

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here’s how it all went.

My engaged friend
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice,
tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’

Then we made passionate love all night long.   

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat,
under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.

When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.     

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos
and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

” What’s for dinner  —  Zorro?”



And Finally  —  Possibly The Best Email You’ll Get All Year  —  Enjoy. . .


People can make a difference…Here are just a few examples:

The man who gave the shoes off his feet to this homeless girl.


This motorist that stopped to help an old man pass safely.


This barber, who offers haircuts for the price of a single hug.


This police officer who handcuffed himself to a woman to make sure she knew she’d have to take him with her.


The many people that helped make this boy’s dream come true.


This dog owner who mourned by giving.


This store employee who gives extra service.


The person who decided to put new tires on a stranger’s car just because he needed it.


The crowd who decided a fan should be able to watch the show, no matter what.


This dry cleaning place that helps the unemployed for free.


These kids helping an injured member of their rival team to score.


The man who played for fun and gave his winnings away.


This man who missed his train helping this older lady with her bags.


This man who gave something to a homeless man no one gives – something to occupy his mind.


And Dan, a man, who twice a week, buys coffee for every patient, nurse and doctor at local cancer centers.


The people at the animal hospital, knowing how hard it is to say goodbye.


This man who gave his umbrella away so this cat could have a dry night.


The paramedics who took an elderly man to the hospital and then came back and finished shoveling his driveway for him.


Makes you feel good, doesn’t it …



MB & Oldies Alert – some humorous “aphorisms” (whatever those are)

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some humorous “aphorisms” (whatever those are)  —  and continues w/ some other tidbits to entertain you for the next couple minutes.

And speaking of  “entertainment”  —  check out this week’s edition of my weekly radio show  —  “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” by clicking on the following link

and enjoy a “trip to the Islands”.  I think you might like what you hear.  In the meantime  —  today’s Monotony Breaker. . .



it’s not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.        
We have enough “youth“.
How about a fountain of “smart“?
A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fun,  do they know it?
Money isn’t everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
If at first you don’t succeed,
Skydiving is not for you.
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you  
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
Give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
To produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto: 
At least we’re not Mississippi
The latest survey shows that
Three out of four people make
Up 75% of the population
“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
Identify their corporate sponsors.

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate   to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.


A little Stress Relief to help your day!



































‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet,  I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come  shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.’

I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..  
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and  pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’ ‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men….
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,  ‘What?’

A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.  
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get  our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old  Testament and showed him at the top of several  pages, that it indeed says …   ‘HEBREWS’

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 
‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM .’  He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next  morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and  see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by  the bed.
The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..’
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

And finally  —  one last bit of “entertainment. . .”

Top 10 Songs, Each Month, Past 30+ Years

Click on the link above, then click on the month you choose, then click on the speaker in the middle of the record, and it plays the entire song.

You now have more than 30 years of the Top 10 Songs for each month from 1950 to 1986.

You not only hear the music, you get to see the original label, and if you click on the title underneath the record, you will see a photo of the artist…

MB and Oldies Alert

Today’s Monotony Breaker begins w/ some rather remarkable examples of people who really know how to deal w/ the aging process and continues w/ a variety of interesting tidbits to which you’ve become accustomed.  Also  —  This week’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” has been uploaded to Mixcloud and is available by clicking on the following link:    As will be evident  —  it’s a bit of a collage combining the fact that yesterday we celebrated the “Ides of March” and tomorrow we’ll be celebrating Ireland’s Patron Saint  —  no doubt w/ a bit of green beer to spice up the festivities.  As always  —  Enjoy. . . (and tell your friends to check out as well. . .)


96 105 123 131 141 151 161 171 181 191 201 213 214 311 1111 49 77 84

“Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat 

And taking the tartar sauce with you!”


Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.  The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry, son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘what ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ 
The farmer said, you can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’ 
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me.. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘what happened with that dead donkey?’ 
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’ 
Chuck now works for the government.


 Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives (only 14 items; not long)


1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.


2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.


4. A dog’s parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.


7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk..


8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”


10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.


11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.


13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:


14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:   
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who’s happy to see you!


The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Nursing Home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”

 “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

 “No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”


And Finally  —  Wedding Night at the Senior’s Lodge  —  Enjoy. . .

MB for International Women’s Day

This week’s edition of “Oldies w/ the Old Guy” celebrates “International Women’s Day”  —  and does so in the “happiest” of ways (if you know what I mean) and has been uploaded to Mixcloud.  Check it out at

However, in the meantime  —  today’s Monotony Breaker is “particularly” interesting from a number of different perspectives  —  beginning w/ some “creative” signage.  Enjoy. . .









A Wise Man once said. . .

  1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.2. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – Priceless.

    3. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore.  A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

     4. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser.  Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

    5. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

    6. On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese!



Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store in Ladysmith. I placed them on the front seat of the HHR and headed back home.


I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice,
“I’m a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?”

                      I thought about it for a second and said “What kinda beer you got”



Do not regret growing older.
It is a privilege denied to many.



My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, “you appear quite elderly to be driving.”
“Well, yes, I am,” she replied proudly. “I’ll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don’t even need a driver’s license anymore.
“The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver’s license.
I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying,
‘You won’t need this anymore,’ so I thanked him and left!”


Just wanted to say Hi, AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!

    A smile – is a sign of joy.
    A hug – is a sign of love.
    A laugh – is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like me? Well…that’s just a sign of good taste???


And finally  —  a video treat that is truly enjoyable and connotes nice memories. . .

10 years of Budweiser commercials.